Oh Shit It's December.

Prologue: I just don't like this feeling so just let me rant it out, will you? If you don't like depressing rant fest, click back or x on your browser and go tend your own beautiful life. No need to care about a lonely, depressed youth in self-doubt.

The title sums up the feeling that I am having now very aptly.

And what a succinct way to remind self of passing time is the monthly hike to the ATM machine and Bursary to pay for the rent.

I loathe the month of December. The end of a year forces one to reflect on what one had done and hadn't done for past one year, reviewing the checklist that you mentally made during the start of the year back in the ye olde day of January. You know what? I had been overestimating my own optimism and ability to the point of delusion and when things doesn't go the way I want it to be, I get thrown off balanced and sinks into a deeper rut than ever, struggling to pick myself up and readjust to the actual reality. And yet, I keep on subscribing to whatever that's left with my ailing ability and chipping optimism probably until the days it finally gone into a devouring void as I writhe on the floor in despair becoming something less of a human but more as a sentient mush and finally bite the dust. (figuratively speaking...and if you don't really get it, neither do I.)

My name is LZR. I have the demeanor of Nitroglycerin, the charisma of London Blitzkrieg's rubble, the patience of a single male honey badger in heat denied of mating and the motivation of a corpse. My life is as as stellar as a decaying Red Giant. (Pretty unbelievable how depression can trigger such original description of myself. I am like a Bohemian minus the sex and drug and music and fashion ergo not Bohemian.)

Just five more days to Xmas and 11 more days to wrapped up the year 2011. So allow me to extend an early holiday greeting of...

Merry FUCKING Xmas, Happy FUCKING New Year 2012 and Happy FUCKING holiday. Fuck.

Last but not least (and because I am feeling ill willed), Grammar Nazi in Action (ME) picking against hapless, inconsequential student body in USM over little thing called spelling.

See whether you can spot what's wrong with this poster. Hint: when you add the letter "s" on the misspelled part of a proper noun, it becomes a fairly scientific word (American spelling) describing the..."passing" of an human digestive process kind. Considering the amount of horrific gores and indecent exposure, pointless and malicious rumours and endless whinging and inane personal update all of us exposed ourselves to on Facebook and helping it to fan it by clicking the share button irresponsibly, I would say Facebook has indeed turn itself into "Feces"book. Not to mention the Timeline feature which will be rolled out to all Facebook users very soon, one could expect the annual chorus of "NEW FACEBOOK IS SHITE. I WANT MY OLD FACEBOOK BACK" whining and confusion. Shitstorm ahead. Oh did I left out the fact that MPP is inconsequential in a student's life? This just seem like an half-hearted effort of seeking students opinion while the chairperson himself want to DEFEND AUKU to the death, calling it a "blessing for student" not too long ago. Oh please. Meanwhile, I wonder how's the feedback anyway. Didn't see them over DK foyer while I walked past there today. They have class I suppose. *rolleyes*

Epilogue: Regular scheduled programme will continue as the purveyors of mundane contents feel happier and picked himself from the rut he is in. Meanwhile, please stare into the scene of a nighttime blizzard on your screen. *blip* It does feel kinda good ranting it out and at least it distracts me from thinking it. Meanwhile, still trying flip over what life has installed for me in order to look at the bright side of life. Looking forward for Friday more than ever because it represent some sort of progress not to mention Xmas eve itself but only because I want to listen to Festival of Nine Lessons and Carol broadcasted live from King's College Chapel, Cambridge on BBC Radio 4 at 3pm GMT (11pm GMT+8).