Is It The End?

Prologue: Abandoning the blog for about two months and only bother to revisit it at the very last hour on the very last day of the 2013, among the longest stretch of inactivity this blog has experienced so far. That's how much my level of enthusiasm in writing these days despite the abundance of contents and issues and opinions. 

Just look at that eager newcomer, ready to take his spot on the dancefloor while edging out the oldies.

There you have it. 31 December 2013 will come to its conclusion in matters of hours and conversely a brand new year begins.

The end of the year has always been regarded by most people as the moment of retrospection, reminiscing the 365 days gone by, reflecting on what has been (and not been) done, listing down all the targets/hopes/dreams that wants to be achieved, plotting ahead milestones, charting our own's life direction when the new year begins. Cue the deluge of statuses and updates on social medias chirping out how the year has been good for them, endless streams of photo of all those gathering, partying, vacationing they had been doing since Christmas holiday and earlier or even the countdown concert they're having now as the clock ticks. Facebook even has a convenient apps just for the occasion for users to selects various Highlights from your Facebook Timeline for the past one year and of course, SHARE it to the world to highlight how life's been great is for them.

How frustrating. It's as if the reality and everyone in it compelling you to make retrospection of your own against your own personal wishes.

...and when I finally gave some thought on how 2013 has been for me, I just can't help but to feel... Insignificant. Despair. Disappointment. Lethargic. Underachieved. Disenchanted. Fear.

I have achieve pretty much...nothing. My life's aimless. Enthusiasm for life largely abandoned. A 25 years old young adult reliant on family financial support with only occasional shoestrings income thus still struggling and reluctant to make the transition, trying in vain the delay the inevitable.

Am I going to fall victim once again to my own vice of failing to follow through what I had initially enthusiastic for? How many times already I have beleaguered by own subsequent demotivation when encounter disjoint between what I wish for and how it actually peters out in reality? Time and time again I have failed to stay on track towards what I hope, retreating every time there's threat and adversity preferring to hide away from reality instead.

Is it The End? I really hope not.

As for 2013, it IS the end. What an underwhelming, tepid year.

Epilogue: Just to be clear in case anyone's wondering, I am NOT suicidal. I am just tired, mildly depressed, in fear of reality. In fact, it is because of how much I am afraid of hurting myself that I will never commit suicide. My apology if some of my persistent negativity actually seeps into your twee, glorious life. Alright, I do admit it is depressing when one actually actively ponders about what has not been achieve for the past one year. Perhaps I should celebrate every single fleeting moment of happiness and mild satisfaction despite how insignificant it is compared to all the better achieved, successful social climber out there, right?

Hence, a slightly more positive note minutes before the clock stuck 12 am...at the very least I am not alone tonight, thanks to birthday boy, Syahmi!

.Sydney has already went into the new year a couple of hours earlier with pomps and circumstance as usual, firework show lighting up Sydney Harbour, Sydney Harbour Bridge and Sydney Opera House.

...while I enjoyed my last supper of the year, being introduced to a Nasi Lemak truck operating right in front of RST USM with its highlight being its sambal. Not too spicy and very fragrant and the large chicken and sunny side up adds even more value to this one box of nasi lemak.