[Aside] Why so serious?

Prologue: Let us now take a break from my usual random slice of life blogpost for something that's worth mentioning. Thank you for your attention.

Seriously, why so serious-lah?

I believe anyone who's actively following the current affairs and latest news regarding Malaysian blogosphere (I got mine from following Rocky's Bru!) should most like know about this piece of news: a blogger known as "Hassan Skodeng" (lol Skodeng) of Nose4News has been charged by Malaysian Communications and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) under Section 233 (1)(a) of Communication and Multimedia Act 1998, for (as explained in typical convoluted manner of legalese) "improper use of network facilities or network service by making, creating, soliciting and initiates transmission of any content that is obscene, indecent, false, menacing or offensive in character with malicious intent." Full news coverage courtesy of MalayMail right here and here. Of course, while it is obvious that many bloggers has run themselves into law during the unbridled freedom over cyberspace of Post-Mahathir IT Era, for this case however it was different. Why is it so? Just have the look of his purportedly "offending" piece of writing as charged by MCMC, reposted here from Rocky Bru's take on this event.

For those people who're lacking in tickle bone/sense of humor/low awareness of extended usage of English language, this article is purely FICTIONAL and hence shouldn't be taken in anyway as FACT in actual life.

By Hassan Skodeng
TNB to sue WWF over Earth Hour

KUALA LUMPUR — Tenaga Nasional Berhad (TNB), Malaysia’s premier energy provider today announced that they were taking legal action against the World Wildlife Foundation (WWF) for organising the Earth Hour, a global movement that makes a stand against climate change by turning off all non-essential lights and electrical equipment for an hour every year.

In a Press conference, TNB president and CEO Dato’ Sri Che Khalib Mohd Noh said that the annual worldwide symbolic gesture, which this year would be observed this Saturday at 8.30pm, is nothing more than an ‘arrogant and thoughtless viral movement’ aimed to hurt power companies such as TNB.

CHE KHALIB: These people are inconsiderate. “Obviously these green-minded fellows think they’re really cute, organising such an irresponsible campaign,” said Che Khalib angrily. “They say ‘turn off your lights for an hour’ and people do. I bet that really makes them feel all powerful.

“What these western colonialists fail to grasp is how such drastic action affects the poor companies like us. One hour of unused electricity means an hour of wastage for TNB. Did you know that last year’s Earth Hour costed us millions in unrealised revenue?” asked Che Khalib, seething.

“How do you think that affected our production? We couldn’t exactly turn off our power plants just because a large number of Malaysians turn off their lights at the same time. So imagine all that wasted energy.

“This year, we expect even more people to fall for this global con-job,” added Che Khalib.

“So there’ll be more lights turned off. KL alone would be engulfed in darkness. Yes, sure, it may seem fun to some, running around in complete darkness. But that also means TNB would get less money. Tell me, what am I supposed to say to the kids of this electrical technician when we can’t give bonus this year?” asked Che Khalib, as he pointed to a TNB staff manning the lights for the Press conference.

He added, “In light of such inconsiderate actions by these tree huggers, TNB has no choice but to take legal action against the Earth Hour organisers, WWF. We’ll wait for our accountants to come back with the loss figure after this year’s Earth Hour, and we plan to sue them for that same amount. We may even add a hundred million ringgit or so, to teach them a lesson.”

Che Khalib also reminded Malaysians to ignore the Earth Hour, calling it a ‘cultural invasion, a concerted assault by extreme liberal forces aimed to destabilise poorer nations’.

“We are Malaysians, and we should be proud of our lights. Every night we should go out and see the beautiful sparkling lights in our city skylines. Don’t be ashamed of the lights,” said Che Khalib, as he unveiled a set of pictures showing the Petronas Twin Towers and the surrounding buildings consequently going dark during last year’s Earth Hour.

God knows how many people tripped over things and hurt themselves in the complete darkness, not to mention the number of bad people going around doing naughty things, knowing the authorities could not see them.

“Let’s reverse the order of these pictures this year, and fight for the rights to our lights,” continued Che Khalib. “Let’s unite as 1Malaysia, and tell these green terrorists that we will not go dark! We will not switch off! Let’s tell them that we love our lights!

“POWERRR… EXTREME!” he screamed, as powerful clusters of foglamps flooded the conference room with ultra-bright and hot light, temporarily blinding everyone present, and signalling the end of the Press conference.

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As anyone who has a tickle bone can clearly observe not just from this article but also his other writings, this is a SATIRE. SATIRA/SINDIRAN. 讽刺. Even if your own awareness towards English stylistics is at the lower end, the last line should've been a giveaway. (POWERRR...EXTREME!!! is definitely a killer. If you know what killer means anyway.) I bet that those who lay charges on Hassan Skodeng could've just ASPLODE if they ever come across the gazillion time more crass and obscene "entry" of Uncyclopedia or believing that The Onion is indeed America's Finest News Source.

ASPLODE.

So at the end of the day, what can we do as a leisure INTARWEBZ surfer and casual bloggers who usually prefer to blissfully blogging away about their KYUUUTTT cat and such can do to support him? Well, (as far as I think that any form of online petition is as useful as mosquito buzzing around your ear.) we can give our (definitely minute, when compared to like say actual legal defence from a trained lawyer.) support by signing this petition in support of Hassan Skodeng. It would just take roughly five minutes of your life and you will be back to continue blogging about your recent trip to Bali in no time! Do it, for the love of BONE-TICKLING SATIRE. POOOOOWEEERRRR...EXXXXTTTREEEEEEEMEEEEE!!!!!

Epilogue: Now back to real life. Oh. My. God. It's already SEPTEMBER?! Next week's gonna be mid-semester holiday as well as Raya Holiday. And as I observe, the campus is starting to feel more and more deserted with fellow students BALIK KAMPUNG. And I don't. What's worse is that Bakti cafe might not open during next weeks holiday which means I might starve to death if I stay in campus. I am so going to be crushed by desolateness of campus during Raya. Anyone here in Penang that I could visit?