Inching, Crawling, Grinding, Trudging.

I know I should be more hardworking. I know I should. Urrgh.

Progress update about my research proposal (and overall, my research thesis): finally started doing something substantial (as in actually typing something into a word file) that is the main body of the proposal. Tackled it by starting on the easier part but as I started off with the easier part of my research proposal, things will only go harder as time past.

As my supposed deadline (mid-february before presenting it on early March) inching closer than ever, my actual progress in writing proposal is now crawling at glacial speed. The prospect of failing the proposal presentation stage and spending time staring at the said word document without being able to life my finger to type something on it is extremely nerve-grinding and trudging through all the other journals and papers just to make sure I make it right doesn't make it any easier.

Oh crap. I am demotivating myself again. Stop it, negative thought!

Where art thou, motivation and inspiration?

Why is this feel very de-ja-vu? Ohh it's complicated alright!

Do you know the biggest concern that I have right now? I will be heading home for Chinese New Year on next Tuesday (25 January) which is almost a week before Chinese New Year itself and then spending two weeks plus at home.  I have grossly underestimated the danger of procrastination on my progress and going home on festive season certainly didn't help! I love my family, I love my fellow friends who will be coming back for Chinese New Year, I love all the celebrations and foods and outing and angpows and such. What about my thesis! Going home a week earlier also means that there will be spring cleaning and new year shopping to be done and I dread spring cleaning and new year shopping because I need to help out due to obligation as a son (as useless as I maybe, there will be things for all of us to do)! All of these is going to happen all because of ME! ME! ME!

Look! I am demotivating myself further again! Stop it, STOP IT!

*Hence I retreat myself to the cloistered cocoon of my own solitude while drugging myself silly with my chronic addiction to internet.*

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A few snippets of events interesting enough to mention in my otherwise mundane lonely life.

KimGary with ChanPao! Gosh! It has been like forever (actual fact: 2 months plus?) since the last time I hangout with her! KimGary is now decorated in festive decorations!

Ordered their Spicy Pork Strip lunch set that comes with soup (I choose Borscht) and drink (I ordered YinYeong). We spent almost two hours plus catching up and such, talking about almost everything on the surface on the earth. And thank god she invited me out to Queensbay because I can do the stuff that I need to do over HSBC Bank (HSBC has a branch over there) that is to bank in the money that I owe SzeJia from Aeroline bus tickets and dinner bill back in the surprise trip down under. Turns out she also got things that need to be done as well over Queensbay that is picking up Chuah BeeSze's pay check over Dome before banking it over to her at KL. Oh gosh talking about ChuahBeeSze, the gal already secured herself in a multinational company in KL (Nielsen MAlaysia) and back as a translator! I think it's great for anyone to be able to work with whatever the craft they learned back in university! So far though, she didn't like living in KL at all. Told ya, ChuahBZ that you will miss the pace and warmth of Penang!

The next day: yet another date/hangout with BeePao except now over McDonald. This time a more important stuff and that is to search for job online! Arrgh all those stuff that a graduate have to go to before entering the jobmarket. Discover that online jobportal is indeed very useful and a lot of multinationals do have their own portal online for prospective jobseekers to apply. Genting Group is one and I actually trudge through the portal together with ChanPao even though I am not exactly looking for one right now. ChanPao is fairly determined of applying a job over HongKong by hanging around HongKong's JobsDB while asking me to suggest names of HK multinationals (Jardine! Hutchison Whampoa! Swire!) though I do remind her a few times about how competitive these multinationals are especially in HongKong. What about myself? I am just thinking of joining the bloated Malaysian Civil Service, leeching of all those government subsidies and perks!

Lunch pictures of the day: Nasi Goreng Daging Merah of Bakti Permai Cafe, the only stall which its lunch are fairly edible. I mean, anything is edible with douses of sweet soy sauce! Though they (and all other outlet in USM) charges 20 cent for takeaway as a mean to discourage student to takeaway a meal. Hmm. I think I am gonna utilize all the empty container box in my room if I ever want to takeaway any food back to my room.

Lunch over USM's second best kept secret in terms of food: Cahaya Gemilang's Nasi campur, the 2nd cheapest after Indah Kembara's subsidized army food! This plate total up to RM2.30 and it's very filling if you ignore how heavily peppered all those dishes there. (I don't know why they do that but nevermind then.)

Last but not least: a few prezzies that I received from ChanPao! Chinese New Year Obligatory Chinese New Year card, reminding all the 87ers (that means most of my peers) that they are 24 years old this year! It's rabbit year everyone! The other SISTAHs (especially those down in KL like AhPheng and ChiaMin) is doing it too. I wonder where did they sent it to? My home?

I LOVE HK t-shirt, yet another obligatory souvenir from overseas trip, courtesy of ChanPao. Actually she showed me two tees for me to choose but taking into consideration my ever expanding girth, I have to took this one (XL) because the other one comes in L.

Epilogue: I know I should stop hiding for reality too long before reality crashing me heads on. I mean whats wrong with me! I have all the puzzles pieces ready (I think) but the only trouble is that it's all scramble up and it takes a hard time to put it into it's place. Am I missing something? Am I doing it right? Am I quoting the right people! One frustrating that I notice while I am doing academic research, if everything has to be backed up with relevant quotation, is there any room left for my own originality? Did everybody else did my stuff before? Peer review is tedious to the MAX.