The fun has ended.

...and I hate everything single thing about it.

For some reason, everything seems to be heading in a downward spiral now and my emotion had been going haywire this couple of weeks (even though this semester is already heading towards the end.) that every little bad thing that happen would trigger my mood into a roller-coaster ride/stormsurge/breaking wave/whichever adjective that can be used to describe turbulent emotion until my sanity might just snap at one point.

I hate this so much. Why I can't stop being negative about every single thing? Why I can't stop feeling disillusioned? Why can't this negativity just go away? When will the good thing comes?

For example of how little thing seems to be triggering excess emotion: Went to pick up my draft for LHP453 Creative Writing. It was supposed to be a good Friday for me but everything about it: this piece of junk, this course, him, myself had ruined it.

...so I teared it off just like that. And my mood needs some maintenance to do. This was the first time I turn dissatisfaction into real physical action and I had the feeling it might get worse.

I hate this part right here.

Pussycat Dolls - I Hate This Part

Lyrics:
We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue
And right now radio's all that we can hear
Now we ain't talk since we left, it's so over due
It's cold outside but between us it's worse in here

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

Everyday, 7 takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now 'fore we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there is no more time for lies
'Cause I see sunset in your eyes

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

That I gotta do it,
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it
I hate this part
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here

Epilogue: Sorry. My current state of mind is extremely prone to emoness. Seems to me the everything in reality is having schadenfreude towards my current state of mind. Fuck reality.

*Edit: LMAO just discovered that that Youtube clip contained Just dance from Lady Gaga. Feeling just a lil better now by noticing the incongrousness of it.