Reality has not been very nice to me recently... in fact, it keep screwing me from behind without my consent... Reality has been FUCKING ME HARD and I am literally BLEEDING in pain...
I had been seriously worn out by various reason with the major one which is assignments and courseworks. Deadlines has been pushing me very hard and almost towards the edge of insanity. Lets have a rundown on what am I need to finish up:
This week aka THE DEATH WEEK: SHE101 report (I really need to apologize to my group member, Ming Wei, Shu Jun and San Jing with me being incompetent and pushing you girls to hard. I didn't help out much at all only at editing and finalizing stuff due to HBT105 presentation this week) and HBT105 presentation. Deadline: This coming Thursday and Friday. For HBT105 presentation(this week: budaya terselindung) I need to write about commentary as well as presentation report after the presentation is done.
This is the current hurdle that I need to overcome right now. But personally believe I that my chance of getting this week unscathed is almost impossible. After all, if I am stressed like this right now, how am I not hurting my brain and soul!?
After this assignment, I still have one more text analysis for my HBT105 as well. I am taking To Kill a Mockingbird and its BM translation, Enggang Lalu Ranting Patah as my text to work on. Hopefully this one can finish up as smooth as possible even though the hope is pretty small.
Other than HBT105, another *shitty* compulsory coursework of mine is the stupid CMM111: Excel spreadsheet. I am not exactly concern about this one some let skip this as well.
Besides that, I still have an job interview of LSP401 which I seriously not prepared beside the coming listening test. This however is the least of my concern because I also got one Japanese composition(your local folklore) and speech to be done. The complexity of Spanish verb still puzzle me as always.
After all the internal issues, lets take about external stress and this is related to AIESEC. I am still very, very unsure whether I should run for VP or not with my current mood leaning towards not running. In fact, I need to recheck my focus on why am I joining AIESEC. Should I sacrifice my time and spirit for AIESEC work? Am i ready to take the plunge into the depth? And the fact that there might be a lot of politics (look at the current one and you will know) for being in an EB board is challenging my honesty and innocence in mind and soul. (btw, my AIESEC blogpost about B.U.D.A.Y.A. and also EB election is not even half done lol!! will post it up if i got time...)
SERIOUSLY, I NEED A LIFE. HELP ME.
Almost everyone that I meet commented that I look really worn out and tired. And I am in my low point right now, feeling depressed. When I will get out from this deep valley of depression?! Maybe I need Brands or YoMeiShu or Antidepressant for keep my spirit alive... or just a personal time and space for me to think...
-end of rant-
ps: hmm, this feel kinda better. I should do more ranting then.
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